Thursday, September 01, 2005

roommate banter, ch. II

sometimes the best instant messenger conversations come from using the computer to talk to those within earshot.

joWanna03: baby jesus is crying!
schkara e: oh no, why?
joWanna03: something you did, i'm sure!
schkara e: jesus loves me
schkara e: this i know
joWanna03: who told you? the bible?! please
joWanna03: baby jesus CRIES
schkara e: no no, the song told me!
joWanna03: you know who wrote that song?
joWanna03: the jews!
joWanna03: to trick you!
schkara e: whatever, hitler
schkara e: he loves me!
joWanna03: jesus loves you like a fat kid loves hitler

I was duped

"Do what you enjoy," they said. "Follow your dreams," they said. Following your dreams and doing what you enjoy is a complete and utter scam, perhaps perpetuated by those seeking to thin out the pool of qualified applicants to increase their odds in the job market.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

oh no!

Readerhsip on my blog is down! What do I do? Well, the obvious answer is... naked picture time!

It's not that my life is any less interesting since my return to Indiana. It's been heaps and loads of interesting, just not from a blog standpoint? I got nothin. I've been drinking Pepsi like water, which is bad. With my newfound power at the newspaper, I was able to have a column about instant mashed potatoes published and no one questioned me about it. It's 7:32pm and I kind of feel like going to sleep. And, I've been eating a lot of low fat, nutrigrain waffles. Here's a picture.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Wait a minute, Mr. Postman!

When does my scholarship check come in the mail? I need to buy drugs and alcohol.

midwestern manners

Today I had to hand out free newspapers on campus. I was expecting it to be miserable. I expected students to be like, "Get out of my way, I'm late for class." I expected it to be worse than handing out free magazines in NYC because I wasn't forcing free things upon random strangers, but rather, degrading myself among my peer circle.

Actually it was delightful. Every single person I offered a paper to was pleasant and polite. The sweet melody of cheerful "No Thank you's" flowed through the air if the newspaper was rejected. (Ok, there was one girl who looked at the paper in disgust and said, "I don't think I want THAT." But she probably didn't know how to read.) Plus, I didn't have to hand out hundreds and hundreds, just 75 split between 3 people.

Not surprisingly, I was very skilled in getting a free publication off my hands-- handed out 25 papers in about 3 minutes and went back to take the burden off my fellow hander-outers.

It feels so strange to work for a publication that pays me, gives me valuable experience and doesn't have riduculously high handing-out-free-stuff expectations. (and if we reach our goal of handing out 5,000 papers, we get free pizza.)

I was about to say "BUT, it's not in NYC." However, I've recently realized that Bloomington, IN is a lot more like NYC than I thought. There are hoards of people walking everywhere. (excpet they're all going to class.) And there are a lot of really random weird people... and bums. For example, the other day I saw this random dude playing Bagpipes along Kirkwood Ave.