Monday, July 18, 2005

locking your door isn't trendy or cool

Checking my email is quite a blow to the self esteem. I received an email today with the subject heading "Weight loss for idiots." They're not just calling me fat, oh no, they're calling me a fat idiot. Add that to my mortgage rate sucking and my penis being too small and I start wonder, do I have any reason to live? Thanks a lot, email.

Now I'm going to try to get inside the head of one of my roommates so I can maybe understand her actions. She never ever locks the door. In fact, she leaves the door visibly open and gets irritated when I close it. On multiple occasions I have been woken up in the morning by strange men entering my bedroom, wondering A) if now was a good time for the exterminator to come in and B) why on earth was the door open?
So perhaps she is thinking:
"Taking a key with me is such an incredible hassle, to save myself the trouble, why not just leave the door standing open so anyone, at any time, can just walk right into my apartment and steal my shit and rape/kill my roommates? I am brilliant!"

Wow, that’s two posts in a row where I’ve used the word “penis.” What is up with that? Enjoy it while it lasts.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

found your blog through

6:52 PM  
Anonymous better than buddha said...

the next time, i suggest you box up some stuff of yours that you won't need while in ny and some stuff of your roommates that you would like to own... ship the whole thing back to indiana and enjoy an early christmas this fall

for full crime scene effect, toss some shit around, be creative

result = free stuff + a lifelong lesson

9:33 PM  
Blogger Tim Duffy said...

My e-mail is just press releases and people complaining about not getting subscriptions.

8:29 AM  
Blogger Joanna said...

dude, I never received MY fucking subscription btw! I paid for it and everything. Do something! or I will be forced to type an emoticon that displays my distress. Oh, too late.


10:38 PM  

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