Thursday, July 21, 2005


I have an excessive number of NYU “declining dollars” to spend. And Starbucks takes them. And I mean a real Starbucks, not one of those lame, fake Starbucks where the employees don’t even know the difference between a latte and a cappuccino. (imbeciles!)

I could take any of you jacktard friends of mine to Starbucks and buy you anything you want. Anything! Have you ever wanted to go buck wild at Starbucks? This is your chance. You could get a grande iced caramel machiatto and a venti java chip frapuccino and hell, even a biscotti and one of those fancy coffee mugs. But maybe you’re all just too school for cool. I guess staying in Indiana is fun, if you’re a jacktard.*

*I just wanted the opportunity to combine the word “retard” with “jackass.” Mission accomplished.


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