Wednesday, October 12, 2005

help

Hey everyone out there in Internet Land! Who wants to write me a cover letter? It is one of my most hated of all tasks. Haaaaaate it. Obviously, I would be a valuable asset to any magazine, but why? This I must write in a letter, and that makes me sad.

Friday, October 07, 2005

amendment

Alright, upon second consideration, I'd like to add a clause to my challenge, or rather, change it all together. To make the grocery challenge of my last post truly extreme, I had anticipated eating, on average, only one meal per day. But I noticed that I've been eating at least two, sometimes three times per day. I see no attempt on my part thus far to alter this pattern, nor do I foresee a change.

And so, my new challenge is to not buy groceries until all the food on my list is gone. And if that means eating instant grits for every meal-- so be it.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

the grocery challenge

I have taken inventory of every food item I have in the kitchen. For the sake of economy and efficiency, I want to see how long I can make it last. 4 weeks. Do you think I can do it? Here's the list:

-10 packets instant grits
-1 box mac & cheese
-1 can tuna
-1 can tomato soup
-1 can green beans
-2 cans mac nuts (sent by parents in mail- I would never buy)
-1 loaf bread
-1 bag mini carrots
-1/2 package bacon
-1 package shredded cheese
-10 eggs
-1/4 bag frozen hash browns
-4 toaster strudels
-22 clementines
-2 packages instant rice
-1.75 boxes angel hair pasta
-assorted teas, bottled water, vodka (I’m allowing myself to buy more bottled water if necessary.)

My goal is to make my current stock of food last for an entire month. Today is October 4th. I don’t want to go to the grocery store until Día de los Muertos (Nov 1). Well, I’m sure I’ll want to go to the grocery store, but that’s why it’s called a challenge. Note that I will be eating out at least once a week.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

get on your bikes and ride

me: "I'm trying to decide if I should take a nap or go running."
-music cue: *Queen's "Fat Bottom Girls" comes up on my random party shuffle playlist*
roommate: "Maybe it's a sign."

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Oh, mommy

I was talking to my mom on the phone and she suggested I start my own comedy troupe. I explained that in the realm of student comedy troupes 'round here, we already have a sketch group and an improv group and they're both very well received. It's a simple marketing principle, if you have nothing new/different to offer audiences, you're destined to fail. So my mom suggested I start a mime comedy troupe.

When I explained that everyone hates mimes, she said that's why it would be funny. I entertained that this mime principle could be funny for maybe one skit and then all amusement would hault quickly. She did not agree. Upon revisiting this idea, I'm realizing that there are talented mimes out there who can be quite funny, but these people have studied the "art" of mime extensively, something I haven't done and will never do.

This whole comedy thing is a bust.

Friday, September 23, 2005

nuts

I got a package in the mail today. I guess I can't really complain about receiving care packages in the mail from Hawaii. My parents send me a lot of packages over the course of a year when I'm away at school and I'm sure shipping costs are substantial, but they ALWAYS, without fail, send me nuts. Every time they send me some form of nuts. Usually several different genres of nut. (chocolate covered, glazed, etc) I just always get a lot of nuts in the mail and I think that's a little weird, for me, a college student, to have a consistent source of nuts. That is all.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

stand up

I can honestly say that my Communications Law professor, in his lectures, has a funnier stand up routine than Pauly Shore.